Why?
by Breaking-Benjamin-rules
Summary: 'How many times must I witness this pain? This horrible agony? I'm barely hanging onto my sanity.' Based off of a dream i had. HetaOni-themed.
1. Chapter 1

**This was based on a dream I had while listening to Pain Redefined by Disturbed. *shudders* I just…own nothing. Enjoy.**

The blood. There's too much. I…can't take it!

My fingernails dig into my blue uniform, drawing blood. It doesn't matter. I'm already bathed in the blood of the others.

Why must this happen. All of my friends…killed by that thing again.

The doorknob rattles and my shaking increases, tears staining my cheeks.

How many times must I witness this pain? This horrible agony? I'm barely hanging onto my sanity.

Japan, died in the piano room…America, died staying near Canada and England…Germany, dead side-by-side with his brother…it was just too much!

The rattling stops. I have no choice. I have to rewind time once again.

I find the big clock, staring at its ticking hands. I lower my head, my brown hair falling into my face.

"Take me back."

As the familiar white mist engulfs me, I vow to try anything to ensure my friends leaving this place alive.

Even if I must sacrifice myself.

As my memories begin to blur together, a thought comes that both ignites a flame of hope and extinguishes that flame just as quickly.

What if something…different happens?

**This was just…so painful! I just…**

**Fang: *awkwardly rubs her back* it's okay.**

**Ghirahim: *standing awkwardly to the side***

**BBR: thank you. See that little button that says "Review this Story"? click it please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**HOLY MARTIN LUTHER! You people are nuts. You want me to continue this? Seriously?**

***sigh* well, I've been thinking and decided this would be mostly a collection of HetaOni drabbles written from inspiration. I own nothing.**

Sanity? What's that? 'The state of being sane; soundness of mind'? Oh, that…I lost that a long time ago.

You would too if you witnessed your friends dying over and over again like I did.

I'm not even kidding. Put yourself in my shoes after I first heard the rumor of the haunted mansion and told America about it. You'd go insane, too.

You would see what I saw-blood, death, pain. It sapped at my sanity every time loop and I'd been powerless to stop it, being considered the weakest of the nations and thus the one who had to be protected.

But just because I'm Italy doesn't mean what so ever that I'm powerless.

This time-I swear-this time, the others will get out alive. I will make sure it happens.

I don't even care if it would mean my death. The others are more important than me. Besides, I won't be missed long. Romano can take over. I'm sure he won't mind. He'd be powerful. More so than he is now. Germany wouldn't have me to drag him around. He won't have me draped over him like a cloak of burdens. Japan's personal space won't be invaded as much. They can live.

Besides, without sanity, what am i? My life isn't important-it's them that matter more. And it's them that will escape the mansion safely.

**See that little button that says "Review this Chapter"? click it please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's drabble 3! Enjoy!**

Time. Time is a curse for me.

I'm bound by time. Time has loops, you know. I've lived through those loops-been anchored by them-ever since I first entered the mansion.

Each minute that passed in that cursed mansion-well, more pain is brought, more agony suffered, more blood spilt.

Why is fate so cruel? Why must it trap me in time, make me suffer-make my sanity fade-just for its own amusement. Here's a question.

Why me?

Why me, of all nations? By far, Japan, England, Russia-even Canada-could handle this burden better.

So why was this fucking burden dumped on me?

**Oooo~! Italy cursed! He's really pissed at fate. See that little button that says "Review this Chapter"? click it please!**


	4. Chapter 4

**So…there's some dialogue in here. I skipped most of it. I own nothing. Enjoy!**

"Italy! Open this door!"

It hurt. It really did. I didn't want to trap the others. But they'd only get in the way of my plan to keep them alive.

"You see, I'm-a the one who told-a him the rumors about this place. I'm-a the one who told America. About-a this place. And then America immediately went to tell everyone else about it~!"

There. They know now. I can go. I leave them there, guilt tugging at my heart.

"I FOUND-A YOU, VENEZIANOOOOO!"

Oh, no…

"Ro-Wh-why?"

Why is he…?

"Did you break-a all the clocks?"

b-but this is-!

"How did you know?"

h-how is this-!

"No- don't come-a down here, no matter what!"

H-he shouldn't-

"Say my full name!"

What about it?

"Italy. Italy Roma…no…"

Oh, crap.

"That's-a right. I'm-a Italy, too."

No! I can't let him interrupt!

"You IDIOT! I'm-a sorry Romano. I have-a to go. I'm-a sorry, but…just GO HOME!"

I'm sorry Fratello…but I must face this burden alone.

**Dammit…I feel guilty now. Why do they all star Italy?**

**Fang: maybe because he's the main character?**

**BBR: hn. Maybe next I'll do someone else…anyway! See that little button that says "Review this Chapter"? click it please!**


	5. Chapter 5

**It's been a while, but I recovered from my Writer's block enough to write this for all of my fans!**

**Fang: finally, too.**

**BBR: I own nothing. Enjoy!**

No…

What's going on?

Things are happening in this time loops that's different from other loops! T-this is impossible! W-what's going on?!

H-how is Japan getting the memories from past time loops? How did Canada solve the mystery of the piano so quick?

i-I'm so confused. But I can't let this affect my judgment. I have to make sure everyone else lives.

I just wish i could tell them why i locked them up, i thought as i continued to search for the metal shards.

I stop. They won't be mad at me if i went back...would they? They'd yell and scold me...say sorry...then I'd apologize also, and we'd hug...

I heard the door opened and close behind me and turn to find the Thing behind me but...it was so much bigger than before...i started to back up and he matched my pace.

"Oh...Ger-ma..."

I was really hurt when Prussia, Japan, Romano and Germany entered the room. I was panting as i glared at the Thing.

"Itary...?" i heard Japan's voice ask.

"Italy!" Germany's voice followed.

The Thing disappeared and i fell onto my hands and knees. "Hehe...you found-a me. oh." my limbs gave out from under me and i fell to the ground.

"Italy!" Germany called, and the four rushed towards and surrounded me. My vision was slightly blurry, but i grinned faintly.

Blood was splattered all across my chest, on my arms, and a nasty purple-black bruise dominated the right side of my face, as i could see in the reflections in my friend's eyes.

"It's-a...you, Germany...Romano, too, even though i told-a you not to..."

"Wh-why-why didn't you-a run?! Don't be stupid! You should-a have waved your-a white flag like you always-a do!" Romano scolded.

"Waving that...wouldn't have-a saved everyone. That's-a why i decided to do all i could..." i tried to explain.

"Italy!" Prussia piped up, "Can you move?! Just take slow breaths!"

"There's stirr time!" Japan said, "I'rr stop the breeding now, so bring me some bandages!"

"Just stop it!" Romano yelled, "Why do you always have-a to do things alone?! Take a look around-a you! Shit-When you wake up, I'm-a going to fucking kill you!"

"Aww...no... But when i...wake up again...I'll..." i felt so weak. "Oh...but I'm...so tired. And it really...hurts...what am i going-a to do? I haven't yet..." with that i passed out.

**See that little button that says "Review this Chapter"? click it please!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's the next chapter!**

**Fang: your such a procrastinator.**

**BBR: shut it. I own nothing.**

Why? Why must we be trapped here? Is it some kind of punishment? Have my friends and I done something we weren't supposed to?

Whatever the reason, we're stuck here with no way to escape and no knowing what's going to happen and when that THING is going to pop out and attempt to kill us. And it's all because of me.

It's my fault. I heard the rumors. I told America. And now I'm paying the price for it.

Time loop after time loop, I've watched my friends die, felt their blood mixed on my skin, their words echoing in my head.

America, Canada and England…Japan and China…France, Russia and Prussia…and Germany…all of them die one way or another no matter what I do.

And yet I keep trying to save them, keep going back again and again and again, so sure that I can prevent their deaths. I've lost count of how many times I've promised myself that we'd get out, only to watch as they were killed brutally before my very eyes.

I don't even believe my own words anymore.

And still I pretend to be the hyperactive, oblivious, cheery Italy they all know me as, while hiding the insane, depressed, full-of-doubt one that is a stranger to them.

A stranger to me.

I no longer know how long it's been since the first time loop. I no longer know how long I'm going to be anchored in these time loops, witnessing over and over again scenes that haunt my nightmares.

I no longer know who I am.

**See that little button that says "Review this Chapter"? click it please!**


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